Tantric sex has a reputation. Half spiritual ritual, half pleasure, and somewhere in there, people swear the orgasms feel cosmic.

The truth is that tantra is about slowing down, feeling everything, and treating intimacy like a meditation you do together with your clothes off.

If you have ever thought, “Teach me how to do tantric sex without making it weird,” you are in the right place.

Key Takeaways

• Tantric sex is a sexual practice focused on presence, breath, and a deep connection with your partner, not racing to orgasm.
  

• Simple tools like deep breathing, eye contact, and slow touch help you stay in the present moment.
  

• Positions like the yab yum position and gentle eye gazing turn sex into a shared meditation.
  

• Using lube, props, and setting the mood with music and scented candles keeps the vibe sensual, not clinical.
  

• You can practice tantric sex at any experience level - think curiosity over perfection.

What Is Tantric Sex, Really?

Tantra began as a spiritual philosophy that treated the body as something sacred, not a problem to fix. When people talk about tantric sex today, they usually mean tantric practices that mix breath, touch, and attention to create a slower, more connected sexual experience.

Instead of chasing the biggest climax, you stretch out every sensation. You notice how your partner's body responds, you listen, you relax. Pleasure still matters, but you are just less obsessed with the finish line and more interested in everything that happens on the way there. Kind of like edging, just less about the orgasm, and more about presence.

If sex often feels rushed or a little disconnected, this is where tantra shines. It gives you a simple framework for building a deeper connection through intention, rhythm, and the way you touch and look at each other.

Step By Step: How To Do Tantric Sex

1. Sit And Breathe Together

Start by facing each other, then sit cross-legged on the bed or the floor. Let your knees touch. Rest one hand on heart (yours or your partner’s) and begin slow, deep breathing together.

Breathe in for a count of four, out for a count of six. Feel your chest rise against their palm. This tiny ritual is a powerful part of tantric sex because it tells your body, “I am here, with you, right now.”

Stay with this for a few minutes. Allow the day to fall off your shoulders. No goal, just breath and quietness.

2. Eye Gazing And Soft Touch

When you feel a bit more settled, open your eyes and hold gentle eye contact. This is classic eye gazing. You can blink, you can smile, you can get awkward and laugh. That is normal. Keep going anyway.

Let your hands explore non sexual areas first, like shoulders, arms, hair, and jaw. The intention is a slow warm-up, a chance to notice tiny reactions and build a deeper connection through small, intentional strokes.

If you want to use lube here, a tiny amount of massage lube makes skin-to-skin touch feel extra silky and warm.

3. Try The Yab Yum Position

When you both feel ready to get closer, you can move into the yab yum position. One partner sits cross-legged, the other straddles their lap, wrapping their legs around their waist. You are chest to chest, breathing together, faces close.

Stay dressed or partially undressed at first. Notice your weight sinking into each other, and rock gently. Keep breathing, letting arousal build without forcing anything. This position keeps the focus on closeness and shared rhythm, not acrobatics.

4. Channel Sexual Energy

Instead of rushing into penetration or direct clitoral stimulation, treat arousal as energy flowing through both of you. Use your hands to explore and move sexual energy from the genitals through the chest, belly, and thighs.

Run your palms slowly up and down your partner's body, trace their spine, and kiss places you usually skip. You are stretching out the buildup, so their whole system gets involved, not only the obvious hot spots. A little help from a personal massager is also totally permitted. You know, for extra exploration, stimulation, and stuff.

You can stay in positions like this for a while, letting the heat simmer. Think of it as a sensual, extended meditation that eventually turns into more explicit play when it feels natural.

5. Get Friskier

Oral, toys, penetration, you name it. All of that can be part of tantric sex with a partner. The difference lies in how you approach it. Keep breathing, slowing down when you notice yourself speeding or tensing. Let your partner guide you with sounds and small movements.

Use lube generously, especially if you are going for longer sessions. Oil-based lube helps your bodies stay comfortable so your minds can relax and enjoy the intimate experience just a bit (actually a lot) more. But if you’re using latex condoms, switch to a silicone-based option like Dew Më since oil breaks down latex.

Some couples like to experiment with edging, building almost to orgasm, then easing off, which keeps arousal teasing your body. There is no strict rule here. The only real guideline is presence. Stay with what you feel and what your partner feels, moment to moment.

Simple Tantric Rituals You Can Use Anytime

You do not need a full ceremony every time you want to feel closer. Even small rituals can shift how sex feels.

For example:

• Three minutes of shared breath before you touch each other

• A slow, intentional full-body massage

• A moment spent eye gazing before sex
  

Each tiny practice brings you back into the present moment, which is the subtle yet most powerful secret behind most great sex.

FAQ: How To Do Tantric Sex

What is tantric sex in simple terms?

Tantric sex is a style of intimacy that focuses on breathing, eye contact, and slow touch. Instead of racing toward orgasm, you stretch out the sensations and pay attention to your body and your partner. It is a sexual practice that blends pleasure, mindfulness, and connection.

How do beginners start tantric sex at home?

Keep it simple. Clear distractions, sit facing each other, breathe together, and share what you want to feel. Add a gentle touch, maybe a massage, and let arousal build slowly. You can explore positions and rituals over time while you learn how to practice tantric sex in your own way.

Do you have to be spiritual to enjoy tantric sex with a partner?

No spirituality is required. You can enjoy tantric sex with a partner purely as a way to slow down and feel more. Some people bring in spiritual ideas, others treat it as mindful sensuality. Both are valid. Curiosity and respect matter more than beliefs.

How long should a tantric session last?

There is no official timer. Some couples spend twenty minutes on breath and touch, others stretch for a whole evening. Go with what feels fun, not forced. If you feel more relaxed, more turned on, and more emotionally tuned in, the timing is working for you.

Can tantric sex really improve a relationship?

It can help. Spending intentional time touching, breathing, and making space for vulnerability often builds trust and a deep connection. You become more attentive to each other’s needs, both emotionally and physically, which usually makes every sexual experience feel more satisfying.

Final Thoughts On How To Do Tantric Sex

Learning how to do tantric sex is less about mastering some ancient secret technique and more about slowing down, breathing, and actually noticing the person in front of you. When you treat touch as conversation, when you stay present with every kiss and stroke, sex starts to feel bigger, sweeter, and a lot more alive.

So light a candle, breathe together, maybe give your partner a slow massage with Love Oil, and see what happens when you let pleasure take its time.