Bringing a tiny human into the world is life-changing—but let’s talk about what happens after, in the bedroom. You’ve conquered labor, you’re running on minimal sleep, and your body has been through the absolute most. So, when exactly does sex after pregnancy fit into this new chapter?

First and foremost, it’s not the same for everyone. Whether you’re feeling ready to have hot, steamy sex again, or the thought makes you want to wrap yourself in a burrito blanket and never come out, both are 100% normal. 

We’re here to get real about what to expect, how to navigate post-baby intimacy, and why sex after giving birth is a whole new experience.

How Soon Can You Have Sex After Pregnancy?

There’s no universal countdown clock, but most doctors recommend waiting at least four to six weeks before diving back in. Your body needs time to heal, whether from vaginal delivery, stitches, or a C-section. 

The pelvic floor muscles that supported your pregnancy and endured labor need time to regain strength. Your cervix also needs to close completely to reduce the risk of infection and blood clots.

But here’s the thing: just because your doctor gives the green light doesn’t mean you’ll feel mentally, physically, or emotionally ready. That timeline is your call. There’s no prize for rushing back into sex, and the real win is waiting until it feels right for you.

What To Expect From Your Postpartum Sex Life

1. Your Sex Drive Might Be MIA (For Now)

Between sleep deprivation, life with a new baby, and hormone shifts, your sexual desire might feel non-existent. And guess what? That’s normal. Your estrogen levels take a major dip after giving birth, which can lower libido.

Exhaustion and stress don’t exactly scream "let’s get it on," and if you’re breastfeeding, that can further suppress ovulation, leaving your sex drive even lower. 

The good news? 

It won’t last forever. Once your hormones start to level out and life settles into a new routine, your sexual desire will return. Be patient with yourself—again, it’s not a race.

2. Vaginal Dryness Is Real (And Fixable)

Alongside hormonal shifts, vaginal dryness can make sex uncomfortable, even if you’re mentally ready to start having sex again. This is due to those lower estrogen levels, which affect natural lubrication. 

Luckily, the fix is easy: lube, lube, and more lube. Coconut Love Oil (our oil-based lube) is a game-changer here, providing silky, long-lasting moisture while making everything feel extra sensual. 

Also, foreplay also matters more than ever—taking your time and prioritizing what feels good can turn a dry situation into something much hotter.

3. Your Pelvic Floor Is Recovering

Let’s talk about the pelvic floor, because those muscles did the most during pregnancy and birth. Weak pelvic muscles can lead to less sensation during sex, mild incontinence (yep, pee leaks happen), and overall discomfort. 

Pelvic floor exercises, like Kegels, can help rebuild strength and control down there, making intimacy feel better for both of you. If things still feel off after a few months, it’s worth seeing a pelvic floor specialist—they can work magic.

How To Ease Back Into Sex After Pregnancy

If you’re feeling hesitant, don’t worry—you don’t have to jump straight into penetrative sex. In fact, mutual masturbation can be an amazing way to reconnect without the pressure. It allows you and your partner to explore intimacy while focusing on what feels good for both of you. It’s intimate, sexy, and a great way to rebuild your sexual connection post-baby.

Something equally important? Talking about it. 

Honest conversations with your partner can make all the difference. Share what feels comfortable, any fears or concerns (pain, body confidence, etc.), and what would make you feel safe and relaxed. If you’re not sure how to start, try something like: "I want to get back into sex, but let’s go slow and see what works for both of us." It keeps the vibe open and non-intimidating.

Birth Control Matters (Even if You’re Breastfeeding)

Unless you’re planning for another baby ASAP, birth control options should definitely be on the table. Many new parents don’t realize how soon you can get pregnant after giving birth (hint: it’s sooner than you think… like 3 weeks kind of soon). 

Breastfeeding can act as a temporary contraceptive, known as the Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM), but it’s not foolproof. 

To play it safe, talk to your healthcare provider about birth control methods that suit your postpartum body and lifestyle. From hormonal options like the pill, patch, or IUD to barrier methods like condoms, there’s a form of birth control that will work for you.

Finding Your Groove Again: Tips for Comfortable, Enjoyable Sex

Ready to give it a go? Here’s how to make the transition smoother and way more enjoyable. 

First, don’t expect things to feel exactly the same right away. Your body just made a whole human, and it deserves grace. 

Start slow, focus on foreplay, and if penetration feels like too much, stick to external stimulation and other forms of intimacy. Mutual masturbation, oral sex, or simply exploring each other’s bodies without the expectation of full-on sex can keep the connection strong while you rebuild comfort.

Switching up sex positions can also help. Positions like spooning, woman on top, or side-by-side allow more control over depth and movement, reducing pressure on tender areas. And if something doesn’t feel good? Change it. This is all about rediscovery, not perfection.

When Should You Talk to Your Healthcare Provider?

Sex shouldn’t hurt. If you’re experiencing ongoing discomfort, vaginal dryness, or pelvic pain during sex, don’t brush it off. Talk to your healthcare provider about what’s going on. 

They can check for healing progress, recommend pelvic floor therapy, or suggest treatments to make intimacy enjoyable again. Remember, postpartum recovery is not just about your baby—your health and pleasure matter too.

Final Thoughts: Embracing Your New Normal

There’s no rush to start having sex after pregnancy, and there’s no “right” way for your postpartum sex life to look. It’s a journey of rediscovery, one that deserves patience, communication, and a whole lot of self-love. 

Your body is strong, beautiful, and evolving, and intimacy can still be amazing—it just might take a little time. Whether you’re diving back into partnered sex, enjoying mutual masturbation, or just focusing on feeling good in your own skin, remember: you’ve got this.