Feeling sexy and empowered in the bedroom isn’t always as easy as it looks. For those starting to explore your sexual identity, coming back after some time off (hi postpartum babes), or anyone else who’s not really feeling themselves—we know that sexual confidence can feel like a big mystery.

Confidence isn’t some magical, unattainable trait. It’s about knowing yourself, feeling comfortable in your own skin, and giving yourself permission to enjoy the moment. Ready to dial in on your sexual confidence? Let’s ride.

Key Takeaways

• Sexual confidence is about embracing your uniqueness.
• Constant exposure to “perfect” images of sex and bodies through media can create performance anxiety.
• Open and honest communication about what feels good is essential, whether you're in a relationship or exploring solo.
• Taking time for self-care (whether through a bath, exercise, or self-pleasure) lays the foundation for sexual confidence.

What Is Sexual Confidence, Anyway?

Sexual confidence is owning your body, your desires, and your experiences, without feeling like you need to perform for anyone (even if it's just for you). It’s all about embracing your uniqueness and realizing that what feels good for you is 100% valid—whether it’s through slow touch, an open conversation, or just a unique mushroom vibrator.

In short? Sexual confidence is feeling good about your sexual self. It’s about knowing your needs, knowing what you want, and giving yourself the freedom to explore and experiment without shame. When you’re feeling confident in your sex life, the experience is more fun, more satisfying, and just plain hotter.

And trust us, this confidence isn’t just for the conventionally “sexy” ones. It’s for EVERYONE. It’s for improving your sexual confidence, for enjoying sex, for feeling good in your sexual relationship, and even for the days when your sex drive feels low. Confidence fuels your sexual desires and boosts your sex drive, which, in turn, enhances your sexual experience.

Why Is It Hard to Feel Confident? (And Why That’s Okay)

Okay, real talk: sex is complicated. There’s no manual, no magic formula, and no right way to do it. So, it’s no surprise that feeling confident in the bedroom can be a bit tricky. Here’s why:

1. Society And Its Unrealistic Expectations

From movies to social media, we're constantly fed these "perfect" images of sex and bodies. But guess what? That’s not real life. Trying to measure up to these expectations can create performance anxiety, but we’re here to remind you—sex is about what feels good for YOU, not anyone else.

2. Body Image

Whether it’s weight, scars, stretch marks, or even how our bodies respond to pleasure, feeling good in your body is key to feeling confident. It’s common to feel disconnected from our bodies at times, but the more we show love to our bodies (no matter what they look like), the easier it becomes to own our sexual confidence. Feeling confident in your body allows you to embrace and enjoy every sexual encounter, feeling comfortable in your own skin without shame.

3. Performance Anxiety

Whether you're worried about pleasing a partner or performing “just right,” it’s totally normal to feel that pressure. There is no “just right.” Sex is messy, imperfect, and wonderfully human. Performance anxiety? It happens to everyone. The trick is giving yourself permission to be imperfect—and still enjoy yourself.

4. Past Trauma or Shame

For some, sexual confidence can be buried under years of shame, trauma, or negative experiences. Healing is a journey, but you are not defined by your past. Reclaiming your sexual confidence is all about building a positive, healthy relationship with yourself and your desires. Talking to your therapist is key here! The mental health aspect of overcoming past trauma is a critical must-have for improving your sexual confidence and enjoying your sexual relationships.

How to Build Sexual Confidence (Start Right Now!)

Okay, now that we know why sexual confidence can be tricky (and that it’s totally normal to feel like it’s missing), let’s talk about how you can build it—and what that looks like in real life.

1. Know What Feels Good for You (And Explore It)

Here’s the thing: you can’t feel confident in bed if you don’t know what makes you tick. Start by getting to know your own body. Masturbation is a powerful tool to help you figure out what feels good and what doesn’t—without the pressure of pleasing anyone else. Solo play can give you all the clues to your best orgasmic experience. Plus, it’s fun!

WOO Tip: If you’re looking for a low-pressure way to explore, try a beginner-friendly vibrator, like Mushroom Vibez. It’s perfect for those who want to start small and simple, but still packed with pleasure potential. And don’t forget the lube!

2. Talk About Sex

We get it: talking about sex isn’t always easy. But here's the truth—good communication is sexy. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been with someone for years, telling your partner what you like and what feels good can make a huge difference. And guess what? Your partner wants to know how to please you. So, don’t be afraid to speak up!

It doesn’t have to be awkward either—just a casual, “Hey, I like it when you do this,” or “Let’s try that tonight.” And if you don’t have a partner right now? Talk to yourself. 

Knowing what feels good when you’re solo helps you communicate it better when you’re with someone else. Plus, talking about sex and communicating your desires will only improve your sexual relationship.

3. Self-Care = Confidence

It’s not just about how you look. Self-care is self-love—and taking time for yourself helps you reconnect with your body. Whether it’s a warm bath, a workout, or simply moisturizing (yes, you deserve that extra 5 minutes), taking care of yourself gives you the foundation of confidence.

Bonus: Take care of your most intimate areas too. Try Coconut Love Oil for some silky, smooth self-care. It hydrates, it nourishes, and hey, it smells like vanilla cupcakes. Who doesn’t want that?

4. Focus On Connection, Not Performance

Here’s the secret to less stress in the bedroom: it’s not about perfecting the performance. Sex should be about connection—with yourself, with your partner, or both. When you let go of expectations and focus on the experience instead of checking boxes, your confidence will naturally follow.

It’s A Journey, Not A Race

Sexual confidence isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a process, and it’s okay to take your time. With a little exploration, communication, and some fun products, you’ll be on your way to feeling more empowered in no time.

Start slow, embrace the process, and remember: confidence is built through experience, not perfection. Whether you're sexually active or just beginning your journey, the more you explore and enjoy the ride, the more sexually confident you'll become.

How WOO Can Help You On Your Confidence Journey

Mushroom Vibez: A cute, beginner-friendly vibrator that’ll help you get in touch with your own pleasure.

Coconut Love Oil: The perfect lube for solo or partnered play. Think silky smooth, hydrating, and cupcake-tasting goodness.

Shag Juice: A non-sticky, water-based lube that’s ideal for sensitive skin and condom-safe play.

SHOP LUBE

FAQs On Building Sexual Confidence

1. How can I start building sexual confidence?

Begin with solo exploration to get to know your body, communicate openly with your partner, and prioritize self-care. Confidence grows with experience.

2. What if I’m still nervous or anxious during sex?

That’s okay! Take the pressure off. Focus on connection and pleasure, not on “performing” or reaching a specific goal. Your confidence will grow the more you relax.

3. Can products really help boost sexual confidence?

Absolutely! Products like lubricants and vibrators can enhance comfort and pleasure, making it easier to focus on the experience instead of worrying about performance.

Final Thoughts On Sexual Confidence

Sexual confidence is about owning your desires, celebrating your body, and embracing the journey.

There’s no “right way” to feel confident. Your journey is uniquely yours, and every step—even the awkward ones—moves you closer to embracing your sexual power. Take your time, experiment, and, most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way. Confidence doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience, love, and a bit of silky lube along the way, you’ll get there.