Sex. It’s one of the most natural things in the world, yet society still struggles to handle the topic. While conversations about our sex have become far more mainstream, the question lingers: Why is it taboo? Or at least, why was it taboo in the first place? 

We’re ready to unpack the origins of this taboo, explore why it still hangs around, and why we should kick it to the curb. After all, why is sex taboo, anyway? Let's get into the nitty-gritty.

The Historical Roots of Sexual Taboos

Looking back at history, the answer seems obvious. Spoiler alert: a lot of it boils down to control—over behavior, bodies, and society.

Religious Influence

For centuries, religion has played a huge role in shaping the world we know today, but especially feelings towards sex. Many doctrines frame it as something reserved strictly for reproduction within marriage. Anything beyond that? Taboo. The emphasis on modesty, abstinence, and morality turned natural sexual desires into something “sinful.” And while these teachings were looking to find order, their ripple effects are still felt.

Cultural Norms

Throughout history, many cultures have enforced strict rules around sexuality, especially for women. Concepts like purity, virginity, and chastity were tied to family honor and societal standing. Meanwhile, male-centered systems often policed women’s bodies and desires, reinforcing the idea that talking about sex—let alone enjoying it—was shameful. 

Men, on the other hand, were let off easy (to say the least), but luckily, we’re moving past that slowly but surely. Bye bye, patriarchy.

Reproductive Control

Historically, controlling sex meant controlling reproduction, which was crucial for maintaining power and wealth. By stigmatizing sexual behaviors outside of societal norms, communities ensured stability around inheritance and lineage. But the cost? Practically erasing open conversations about sex.

Why Sex Is Still Taboo Today

Fast forward to modern times, and the stigma around sex hasn’t entirely disappeared. If anything, it’s evolved into one big mix of stigmas. “Porn always leads to addiction,” “women should have a low body count,” etc. Here’s why talking about your sex life still sometimes feels like walking on eggshells:

The Role of Media

The media has a love-hate relationship with sex. On one hand, sex in movies and series has always been a norm - after all, sex sells. On the other, the rise of social media warriors and open discourse on social platforms means someone always has something to say, whether it's for or against your point, which can lead to lots of opinions swirling around. 

Plus, when it comes to the media, comparing fiction and fantasy scenes to realistic sexual encounters is like comparing apples and oranges. The not-so-glamorous elements of sex (including vulnerability) are often left ignored in Hollywood hits.

Porn

While we’re fans of X-rated content ourselves, porn is surrounded by taboos and it’s often framed as something to be ashamed of. Sex workers are surrounded by stigma, and watching porn is often thought of as a dirty little secret. While we’re definitely moving in the right direction with the way porn is perceived, we see the same things that happen in movies. Think women with perfect bodies, sex centered around male pleasure, and sometimes, even a lack of consent. Porn plays a huge role in shaping taboos, and by normalizing it (and the people who choose this line of work), it creates a safer, more open space for conversations around sex.

Fear and Shame

For many of us, discomfort around talking about sex starts young. Families and schools often shy away from discussing sex openly, leaving curiosity to fester in silence. Without proper sex education, fear and shame take root, making it harder to break free from the taboo as we grow older. Did anyone really abide by the middle school sex ed recommendation to abstain from sex entirely?

Lack of Education

Speaking of sex education, the lack of comprehensive and inclusive curriculum is a major culprit. When schools teach abstinence-only lessons or skip over essential topics like consent and pleasure, they reinforce the idea that sex is something to avoid, not understand.

Sure, maybe hearing your high school science teacher talk about sex felt a bit awkward, but it’s totally necessary. 

Want to hear something mind-blowing? Only 30 states actually require schools to teach sex education. And even worse, just 22 states require that sex/HIV education is “medically, factually, or technically accurate.” If you ask us, that’s a lot of room for error, misinformation, and downright confusion for teenagers trying to navigate the topic.

The Harm of Sexual Taboos

Let’s get one thing straight: this taboo isn’t harmless. Keeping sex in the shadows has real consequences for individuals and society.

Impact on Mental Health

Sexual shame can lead to anxiety, guilt, and even depression. When people feel like they can’t express their desires or ask questions about their sex lives, they’re left navigating their sexuality alone—often in silence.

Stifled Conversations

Taboos around sex create a barrier to open communication about consent, boundaries, and pleasure. This lack of dialogue can lead to misunderstandings, dissatisfaction, and even harm in relationships.

Social Inequality

Sexual taboos disproportionately harm marginalized groups, such as women, LGBTQ+ folks, and even people with disabilities. These communities often deal with extra stigmatization for expressing their sexuality, giving discrimination and repression the green flag to keep going.

How to Break the Taboo

Buy some lube and call it a day. Just kidding… Want to know the good news? We’re progressing in mainstream society. But by taking intentional steps, we can move toward further sex positivity and open communication.

Support Sex Education

It all starts with education. Comprehensive, inclusive, and shame-free sex education is key to breaking the cycle. The education system is outdated anyway. Teaching people about consent, boundaries, and sexual health empowers them to make informed decisions and embrace their desires without shame.

Normalize Conversations

The more we talk about sex, the less taboo it becomes. Whether it’s with friends, partners, or even your kids (when appropriate), creating a safe space for these conversations can make a world of difference.

Challenge Outdated Beliefs

To truly move forward, we need to question the societal norms and cultural expectations that keep sexual taboos going. Supporting sex positivity means embracing it as a natural and healthy part of life (because it literally is). 

But hey, if you don’t want to talk about sex, that’s okay too ––we’re just here to let you know that there’s no shame in doing so if or when you do.

Final Thoughts on Sexual Taboos

So, why is sex taboo? It’s a question with roots in history, culture, and control, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. By educating ourselves, having those “awkward” convos, and challenging outdated norms, we can break the stigma and create a world where talking about our sex is empowering ––the way it’s meant to be. Are you with us?