Have the Best Sex of Your Life | 7 Actionable Tips

Hi everyone! Carter Cruise here. Since Valentine’s Day is cumming up, I thought I’d share some of my top sex and date tips for you and that special someone. These are all things I incorporate into my own relationships and have had success with, so I hope you do too :) 

Keep the banter alive

Add playfulness to your intimate moments. Laughter can be a great way to ease tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere to discuss desires, boundaries, and preferences, which is why comedy shows are one of my favorite date night activities! Don’t be afraid to be silly even when it’s hot and heavy, like sticking your tongue up their nose while kissing, blowing on their tummy, or tickling (if your partner is down with it of course)!

Let’s (not just) talk about sex

While discussing your fantasies with a partner can be totally hot and help spice things up in the bedroom, communication doesn’t have to be sexual to build intimacy and improve sexual pleasure. By understanding what your partner is experiencing outside of the bedroom and relationship, you’ll be more in tune with what they might need in bed. Rough day at work? Start the foreplay off with a nice neck massage. Feeling stuck in a rut and craving new experiences? Maybe now’s the time to experiment with roleplay or that new toy you’ve been wanting to try.

Don’t sleep on making out

To me, kissing is everything. Lock eyes, press your body against them, and kiss them long and deep while experimenting with different movements, depths, speeds, etc to keep it interesting. Use your tongue and your hands to explore their mouth and body, and moan just enough to get them excited about what’s to come. Pro-tip: it’s pretty common to kiss with your eyes closed, but you don’t necessarily need to keep them closed the entire time. Don’t be afraid to sneak a peek at your partner between kisses to intensify the moment, and maybe even hold eye contact for a real thrill.

Foreplay the foreplay

Foreplay triggers physiological and physical responses that can make you and your partner feel more connected, and it can start way before the bedroom. Meet up for dinner/drinks with intimate conversation, send a dirty text while in a group setting, touch your partner under the table, caress their lower back under their shirt, or have a quick makeout sesh in the uber. Slyly letting your partner know you’re thinking about sex with them while outside the bedroom builds the anticipation and sets the mood before you’re even home.

Feedback loop

Check in with each other about what feels good and what doesn’t. Encourage open communication and preferences, making adjustments along the way to ensure a positive experience for both partners. Instead of asking, “does this feel good?” give them options and ask what sensation they prefer. This challenges them to think about what they’re actually feeling and enjoying and removes the pressure to just say yes.

Try new things together

Shared experience is one of the building blocks of intimacy, so be open to exploring new experiences as a couple like trying a new position, incorporating toys, or experimenting with new settings or characters in a roleplay. But like foreplay and communication, this can (and should!) start long before the bedroom. If you’re foodies, take a cooking class or try a new food you’ve never had. If you’re outdoorsy, find a new hike or camping spot. Whatever you’re into, there’s something new and exciting to experience together, both in and out of the bedroom.

Relax and enjoy the ride

Sex isn’t just about cumming and there are so many ways to make your partner feel good without an orgasm. Personally, I’m a huge fan of just lying face to face, making eye contact, and exploring their body with my hands. Taking that time to disconnect from your screens, focus on your partner, and find all their erogenous zones without the pressure of finishing can be so intimate and teach you to be more in tune with your partner’s non-verbal cues that sometimes get lost when the energy is high. Of course, I’m not saying you can’t orgasm after all that, but slowing it down and taking your time to find pleasure outside of actual sex acts is hot, and sometimes the most memorable moments come from just being close and enjoying each other’s company. Create a comfortable and relaxed setting where you can unwind, free from stress or distraction, and RELAX. It’s just sex!