We pretend everyone secretly knows how to do oral sex, like it’s coded into our DNA alongside breathing. But the truth? Great oral is learned, practiced, and refined like a craft cocktail.

Whether you’re going down on a vulva or penis (or both, no judgment here), oral sex deserves the same attention you’d give to penetrative sex. 

Below are oral sex tips by gender, shaped by feedback from women, men, queer couples, sex educators, a certified sex therapist or two, and the collective internet thinking, “How do I do this right?”

Key Takeaways

• Oral sex is about rhythm, pressure, and paying attention to energy, not rushing to the finish.
  

• Learn where the pleasure zones are, like the underside of the penis, the top of the vulva, the inner thighs, and other erogenous zones.
  

• Communication, flavored lube like Love Oil, and slow build-up lead to a wildly more satisfying sex life.
  

• Vibrators like WOO’s Mushroom Vibez layer oral sensations for intensified orgasms.
  

Let’s Talk Oral Techniques

People have strong opinions about oral. Some love it when you go in rough and wild. Some want soft and slow. Some want a whole lot of tongue acrobatics. The trick is to tune in to the body in front of you, because no technique works for every person, every time. So we’re here to give you all the options.

Oral Sex Tips For Dicks

1. Warm-Up Matters More Than You Think

If you want to give a BJ that their mind screenshots and remembers forever, it requires enthusiasm. Eat it like you mean it! Don’t be afraid to kiss their V-line, trace your finger side to side along the inner thigh, and build tension like a cliffhanger. Tease them and take your time.

2. Please The Underside of The Penis

That smooth stretch between the shaft and glans? A jackpot of nerve endings.

Try this oral sex technique:

• Use the tip of your tongue
• Lick with slow, upward strokes
• Give gentle suction when you reach the tip
• When they moan, take note of the actions that lead them there and repeat.

3. Use Your Hands 

Think of a blow job as a duet, tongue AND hands. One hand at the base, one exploring the body, thighs, stomach, and chest. Add circular wrist motion, and match the rhythm with your mouth. Slow is sexy. Fast has a time and place later.

Add a bit of flavored Love Oil lube to the action for oral that goes on for hours simply because it tastes so damn good.

4. Pressure > Speed

Most people default to fast. Try slow, deep suction instead. Think waves, not jackhammers. Don’t be afraid to ask: “More pressure or less?”

5. Please The Balls, Perineum & Ass (If They’re Into It)

A gentle massage, a soft lick, a surprise tease as you’re sucking, and if they’re into it, a small butt plug can turn pleasure into something almost cosmic.

Oral Sex Tips For Vulvas

1. Build Anticipation

Yes, clitoral stimulation is key for most people, but going straight there is like skipping appetizers. Kiss her inner thighs, breathe warmth across the vulva, and use your fingers to spread gently. Basically, you need to build anticipation until she’s begging. 

2. Please Everything, Not Just The Clit

Many think the clitoris is the golden ticket to an orgasm. But stimulation magic often lives at the top of the vulva, around the hood, or even internally. 

• Try slow licks in figure-eights or side-to-side motions.
• Use the tip of your tongue, soft and deliberate.
• Many women require dual oral and internal stimulation to fully climax.
• Don’t be afraid to use your hands.

3. Mix Patterns Slowly & Don’t Lose Rhythm

When she moans louder? Stay. Right. There. Changing techniques the moment she reacts is like switching songs mid-chorus.

To find her favorite rhythm, try:

• Long, intense licks up the entire vulva (usually a fan favorite)
• Circles and other motions around clit
• Light suction and release
  

Remember: Consistency builds intensity. And if you love building intensity, try edging to summon stronger O’s.

4. Use Toys With Your Mouth

Want her to ascend into another dimension? Use your tongue to please internally while pressing a powerful (yet cute) vibrator like Mushroom Vibez externally. Let the toy work some magic while you focus on rhythm and pressure. 

5. Dual Stimulation = A Cheat Code

The clitoris is powerful, yes, but adding extra sensation can send pleasure soaring. Stroke the inner thighs slowly while your mouth works above. Gently pinch or circle nipples for layered arousal. Some women can even orgasm from nipple play alone (yes, nipple orgasms are real).

If you want to blow her mind? Mouth on vulva + fingers exploring internally + hand teasing breasts = fireworks. Add a little Love Oil lube for glide, and watch their body melt.

Oral Sex Positions To Experiment With

Variety changes sensation. For oral sex positions, try:

• Standing while your partner kneels
• Bending over as your partner pleases from behind
• Sixty-nine positions so that you can please each other at the same time
• Sitting on face positions for more intense action
  

FAQ On Oral Sex 

What makes oral sex feel better for most people?

Oral sex often feels better when there is rhythm, consistent pressure, and a slow build-up instead of rushing. Using both your mouth and hands at the same time creates a layered sensation. Focusing on sensitive spots like the clitoris or the underside of the penis, while communicating about pressure and speed, usually leads to stronger pleasure.

How do you give better oral sex?

Better oral comes from warming the body up first with gentle kisses and a little teasing. Pay attention to reactions and work slowly into deeper stimulation. Use your tongue and hands together, watch breathing and body language, and try a bit of lube or a sex toy for more sensation and connection.

Are toys helpful during oral sex?

Sex toys can absolutely enhance pleasure during oral, especially for vulva owners who enjoy clitoral stimulation. A small vibrator used externally while your mouth focuses elsewhere creates a stacked sensation that many find intense. Toys don’t take away from the experience. They add variety, texture, and more ways to feel good.

How do you stay comfortable giving oral sex?

Comfort matters if you want stamina. It helps to change angles or switch between mouth and hands when your jaw needs a break. Soft breathing keeps tension low and rhythm smooth. Experiment with different oral sex positions, pillows, or hand placement so the experience feels good for both of you.

Is oral sex considered sex?

Oral sex is absolutely considered sex, emotionally and physically, and it can be intimate and meaningful in the same way as penetrative sex. Because it still carries STI risks, using barriers like a dental dam is recommended for safety, without taking away from pleasure or connection.

Final Thoughts On Oral Sex Tips

Good oral isn’t a one-trick pony. Presence, curiosity, and willingness to pay attention all improve your technique to match your partner’s needs. Remember that everyone is different, and learning their desires is all part of the fun.

Oral sex is all about experimenting - use flavored lube like Love Oil, layer pleasure with vibrators, change technique and rhythm, and you’ve got a recipe for oral that leaves your partner breathless.