Guess what? Sexual fantasies are completely normal! Everyone has them, whether they’re a fleeting thought or a detailed daydream. Fantasies are a natural part of your sexual identity, and there’s no need to feel embarrassed or guilty about them. In fact, they can add a whole new level of excitement to your sex life, giving you the chance to explore ideas and desires safely.

WOO is here to iron out the most common sexual fantasies and how to explore them with open communication, consent, and plenty of fun.

Are Sexual Fantasies Normal?

Absolutely. Sexual fantasies are as natural as craving dessert after dinner.

Fantasies offer a sneak peek into your deepest sexual desires and help you pinpoint exactly what gets you fired up. Like anything, there’s a difference between harmless daydreams and ones that might require a bit more consideration—like if they begin to disrupt your everyday life and relationships or are violent.

Communication & Consent

Just because you're daydreaming about wild sexual fantasies doesn't mean you're signing up to live them out. For example: You might fantasize about a threesome but cringe at the thought of seeing your partner with someone else. 

Before you spill the beans about your deepest fantasies, consider what you're really after. Are you looking to deepen your connection, curious if they'd be into using those fantasies as spicy foreplay, or are you actually considering turning those fantasies into reality? You don't need to have it all figured out from the start. Nor is it necessary to share them at all. 

If you do share these thoughts, admitting you're not sure what you want to do with these fantasies can lead to some pretty enlightening conversations that could bring you closer together. And remember, if you do decide to explore any fantasies together, you'll need to dive deep into more conversations to make sure it's something you're both truly excited about.

So, you're ready to share those turn-ons with your partner? Go for it, but make it crystal clear there's no pressure to act on them—now or ever. This way, your partner doesn’t feel like they're being put on the spot. Then, give them space to process and react on their own terms, which might change over time. Who knows? This might even reveal a shared fantasy or two, opening up new avenues for your sex life.

6 Common Sexual Fantasies & How to Explore Them Safely

Now for the juicy part—exploring the most common sexual fantasies and finding out how to approach them in a way that keeps them sexy and exciting.

1. Power Dynamics (Dominance and Submission)

Power play is a massive hit in the erotic fantasy league, thanks to sexy novels and Christian Grey. It’s all about one person taking control while the other surrenders. Whether you’re imagining a lighthearted role-play or full-on BDSM, this dynamic taps into the thrill of control (and trust).

How to explore it: Start by having an open conversation with your partner about what excites you both. Before trying anything more intense, you can start with something simple, like light role-playing or using a blindfold. Make sure you agree on safe words and boundaries –they’re there for good reason.

2. Group Sex Fantasies (Threesomes or More)

Group sex—think threesomes or even wilder—is another top-tier fantasy. These fantasies can be about the excitement of multiple partners or simply the thought of something that’s outside of the usual bedroom routine.

How to explore it: If you’re thinking about bringing this fantasy into reality, start with a raw, honest conversation with your partner. It’s crucial that everyone involved is totally comfortable and on the same page. Not quite ready to make the leap? No sweat. You can still get a taste of this fantasy with your partner by watching erotic videos together or exchanging steamy stories, keeping the adventure just between the two of you.

3. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism

Does the thought of being watched or watching someone else get you going? That’s what you call voyeurism and exhibitionism. Whether you like the idea of being in the spotlight or prefer the view from the sidelines, this fantasy is all about the excitement of exposure.

How to explore it: If this turns you on, consider trying role-play or watching each other undress in a more performative way. Another option is mutual video-watching, which allows you both to safely explore the idea of being seen or seeing someone else. Just be sure to keep everything consensual and at a level of privacy you’re both comfortable with.

4. Public or Risky Scenarios

The adrenaline of getting caught during a steamy moment is a big turn-on for some people. Public sex or risky scenarios are all about pushing boundaries, feeling daring, and doing something you probably shouldn’t.

How to explore it: While acting on this fantasy in real life can end up with you in handcuffs (and not the good kind), you can simulate the experience safely at home or in a role-playing scenario where it feels risky without actually being risky.  Or if you’re lucky you can find a really really secluded place in nature.

5. Role-Playing (Costumes and Characters)

Role-playing is a seriously fun and wildly creative way to mix things up in the bedroom. Whether you’re itching to try out a naughty student-teacher bit or slip into a sexy nurse outfit, role-playing lets you shed your everyday self and step into a whole new character.

How to explore it: Talk to your partner about what roles or scenarios excite you. Start simple (hint hint, use your favorite porn scenes for inspo), maybe with just one small costume piece or a basic script, and see how it feels. As you get more comfortable, you can add more layers to your role-play. 

6. Taboo Fantasies (Foot Fetishes, Peeing, Scat, and More)

Some fantasies, like foot fetishes, peeing (urolagnia), or scat play, are considered more taboo but are still fairly common. These fantasies often revolve around sensory pleasure or psychological triggers and might push the boundaries of what’s typically considered “normal.”

How to explore it: 

• For foot fetishes, start by introducing foot massages into foreplay. 
• Peeing fantasies are best explored in safe, controlled environments like the shower, where hygiene is easily managed.
• When it comes to scat play, approach it with extreme caution and prioritize safety and hygiene. Open communication is a must, and if any fantasy feels distressing or uncomfortable, it’s okay to seek advice from a sex professional.

When It’s Time to Seek Help

Most sexual fantasies are harmless and can add some serious fire to your sex life. But if a fantasy starts interfering with your everyday life or your relationship, it might be time to seek advice from a certified sex therapist. A professional can help you navigate your desires healthily and positively, without judgment.

Conclusion

Whether you're vibing with power play, intrigued by group sex, or curious about something a bit more “taboo”, the key to a good time is rock-solid communication and consent. Don't hold back—opening up about what gets you going can seriously deepen your connection and put your sex life in the direction you've been daydreaming about.